Surgeon General's Warning

I kind of feel like I should write something "deep" or "inspiring" today, seeing how it is Easter, or even something just "positive." But the news I have for you all today isn't really any of those. I bring a rather serious message. Here's my story:
Jack in the Box, I think, is pretty limited to the West Coast, but it is a fast food restaurant open almost every single hour of every single day. And at 1:15 in the morning when fast food appears to be the ONLY way to survive the night, Jack in the Box is the place to go. This is how I found myself there last night with a list of desired food in one hand. I decided to go for the Happy Meal, which turns out to NOT be called a Happy Meal at JB. It's just a Kid's Meal. I had them add bacon to my burger, of course. The real bonus to the JB Kid's Meal is that you get applesauce as a dessert! (Yeah!) But little did I know that by eating applesauce at 1:15 in the morning, you can get made fun of by drunk people. [What happens next is only intended for our mature readers:]
Druggie #1 thinks it would be really funny for me to "drink" my applesauce with a straw. I say no problem.
Druggie #2 this it would be really funny for druggie #1 to "blow" the applesauce. (which i just learned means to 'take it up the nose'). He says no problem.
I take a plate and make a neat little "line" of applesauce, just like i used to do with pixi stix back in the day. Druggie #1 takes a cut-in-half straw, puts it up his nose and snorts the stuff. Up his nose. Two lines. No joke. Funniest thing I have ever seen. Oh, man. words cannot describe how hard I was laughing. I was about two seconds away from peeing myself, but (lucky for me) two unlikely characters entered, stage left, which stopped me from the whole peeing myself incident. phew. that was close. Although I do not recommend "blowing applesauce," you are able to drive afterwards.
Unless you do pixie stix AND applesauce...
THAT could get crazy.......

Lost and Found

I've decided that you haven't heard the Beatles until you've put an old record on and kicked back. Last night I pulled out "Abbey Road" and put in on my record player because I wanted something 'new' to listen to. The first song on one side is "Here Comes the Sun." So, so good. I couldn't believe all that I had been missing out on!

Of course I knew that records were so much better quality the moment I slapped a Roy Orbison on the ol' turntables, but I'm a believer that the Beatles are a completely different experience all together. Speaking of Roy Orbison, I remember being in missing-music-panic-mode about 6 months ago when my Roy CD went MIA. I searched high, and I searched low. Unable to come up with anything I had resolved to buy yet ANOTHER used copy at The Warehouse. Luckily I never got around to that errand because last friday night as my brother and his friend were hooking up the stereo in the living room that had been sitting idle since May, they turned the CD player on, and what should come blaring through those dusty speaker? None other than "You Got It." I was in the kitchen and it took all I had to not jump for joy shouting, "oh my gosh! I've been looking EvErYwHeRe for this CD!!" oh, wait. I did jump for joy and say that... (-: Needless to say, my spring is starting off on a great NOTE.

haha, get it?
I'm soooo funny! (-:

Flippin' Burgers

Being a teacher always allows for interesting scenerios. Like when I got to be a McDonalds employee for two hours the other night! Yes, I was working the fries like it was goin' out of style! I even made up a song--if you can believe that!

It was McTeachers night at McDonalds and so the teachers were doing all the "work" like the ice cream and the registers and perhaps most importantly... COOKING FRENCH FRIES! I rocked. The poor manager was running around (fixing all the mistakes that we were making) and I asked her if she just hated this day and she said she didn't mind. Who knows. All I know is that she was way better at scooping out the french fries than me or my faithful sidekick. She could do it one handed while talking to someone at the drivethru... at the same time. Amazing. I have a new found respect. Here's a tip for any of you who might be seeking a position at McDonalds: when you salt the french fries you do the salt shaker in the pattern of "the arches." Yeah. So now you know. (I hope I don't get sued...!) Speaking of salting french fries, if you ask for fries with no salt you get what are perhaps the freshest fries (you could always salt them on your own later, now that you know the trick!) because they take them right from the fryer into the little fry holder, really honestly making sure they never touch the salt.

Well there's my consumer report for the day! (-:

I thought it was bad BEFORE...

Yes I'll admit it... therapy probably would not be a bad idea for me. There I said it. BUT I will follow it up with this statement: that we all could use a little therapy every once in a while.

So tonight I was pretty disturbed at the fact that Suave (brand products) feels it necessary for not only ME to have therapy, but also that my SKIN needs therapy, apparently. Thanks for that, Suave.

I'm switching to Jergen's. I feel like my self esteem will definitely be on the rise...

That Was Me

Yesterday I was the annoying car with my blinker on, just driving through traffic. I felt really stupid because I am always asking myself, "how could you forget your blinker on?"
Well, here's my story:
I went to merge onto the freeway from the on ramp and the guy next to me was being a big jerk and trying to speed up to pass me. (yes, we've all been on BOTH SIDES of this one!) So I, in frustration, slam my blinker on as opposed to just holding it slightly down so that I can make wile gestures with my left hand like, "what the heck are you doing?!" He passes me and I move over just as the lane is about to end. Phew. That was close. So I cruise down the freeway and it was not until 2 miles later that I realize my blinker has been on this whole time! I quickly switch it off and shortly after have to turn it back on to exit the freeway. But this time I just had to hold it in that "in between" place where the blinker is only on because you're holding it there... you know what I mean!
I've decided that maybe next time I'll try to be a little more understanding to the person who's blinker is on. Apparently it happens to the best of us! (-:

p.s. so my dog will sit and whine at the edge of my bed because she wants me to put her up there. I KNOW (because I've seen it) that she is perfectly capable of jumping on to my bed under her own power. What's up with that?

Welcome to Moe's!!

(Yeah, I suppose that would get annoying if I had to say it every single time someone walked in the door!)

Just when I thought I'd seen it all:
I had a kid "meow" in the middle of math today. Yeah, who knows. I didn't, and when I asked him just what exactly was going through his mind the moment he thought it would be a good idea to meow during class, he didn't know. Big surprise.

Girl Scout cookies are in, in case you were wondering. When I asked my family if anyone was interested in ordering some (I have major hookups in the girl scout world!) (-: no one seemed interested. YET I find it very peculiar that when the cookies actually arrived and MY check had been cut, an entire box of girl scout cookies disappeared in less than one day. Hmmm... interesting how that works.

Joke for the day:
If peanut butter cookies are made out of peanut butter, then what are girl scout cookies made from??

haha, i know. (-: