5:36 of GLORY!

The physical therapist was supposed to fix everything in one day. It's been 3 weeks. Three times per week. You do the math. And I'm still broken. (Apparently it appears that I've gone through four or so really traumatic child births... my hip is out of place or something.) Anyway, with my sentence of "no running for a month" well underway, I'm miserable. I'm getting sort of bitchy towards the kids at school and my co-workers, I want to rear end people in traffic when they're already going above the speed limit, and this little part of me wants to take a golf club to the knees of those I see running through the streets at 4:30 in the morning as I'm driving to the gym to ride the stinking bike. (but that could be a whole 'nother issue; who knows!)

Explaining this to the physical therapist actually worked to my advantage. Instead of going the other way, which would have possibly involved a straight jacket and my driver's license being taken away. So he let me run. For FIVE WHOLE MINUTES! So, in retro-spect of my last blog, here ya go:

:30. Finally he lets me choose my own speed. Look at me! I'm running!
:46. "Are you happy now?" he asks. Hey- don't get smart with me! (but yes, I am happy now!)
Minute 1:25. Sorta wish I had my iPod. Oh well.
Minute 1:50. See? My leg doesn't hurt at all! And look. It's almost been TWO WHOLE MINUTES!
Minute 2:35. Feelin' good. I'm back in the game!
Minute 2:47. Crap! Is it half over already?? What a bunch of bull...
Minute 3:05. I wonder if he can tell that my right leg is killing me. Probably not. I'm a really good actress... I can cover it up!
Minute 3:53. Whew! I could do this all day!
Minute 4:18. Seriously. Less that a minute left? Doesn't he need to go somewhere and do something besides sit here and time me?
Minute 4:46. A-ha! Yup- see that lady over there. I KNEW she wasn't keeping that elbow straight. You'd better go help her. Yeah. Take her through both sets of 30, why don'tcha?
Minute 5:02. If that little assistant of his comes over and shuts this thing off, I will hurt him. Well, maybe just his feelings. But either way I'll leave my mark!
Minute 5:36. Busted.

So I throw in my side of the argument: "You didn't really let me start until thirty seconds into it! And you did say I could run for 5 minutes." Yeah. none of the 3 in the area bought it. If I promise to not run this weekend I'll get a whole 15 minutes on Monday!! whoo-hoo! I'll be sure to load up on the carbs and fluids for that one.

(-:

Insight

Well, Sunday proved to be another day with perfect running conditions here in the desert as the half-marathon took off at 7:30 sharp. The sun was coming up and the air was brisk, (ok, it was dark and cold). Either way, it was an all-around good run. If you haven't recently had an opportunuty to be running at such an event as yesterday, here is some insight into what you might be thinking along the way.

Mile 1. I'm running way too fast. This pace will never hold.
Mile 1.5. Oh. He's cute. I wonder if I can hang with him and then wonderful bonding experience will give us somethig to chat about late into the night over wine and carb-loaded foods...
Mile 2. He's slow. And maybe not really that hot. I'll keep looking.
Mile 4. I love this song (on the iPod). How would I ever live without this? I should tell my parents thanks again for a great Christmas last year. "I've got this energy beneath my feet like something underground is gonna come up and carry me..." (name that tune!)
Mile 4. Still?
Mile 5.5. Are you kidding me? People have hit the turnaround point already?? Go Melissa! (that's my coach.)
Mile 5.75. I wonder, if I stop and pee behind that bush if anyone will be able to see me?
Mile 5.85. I thought they said there'd be port-a-potties along this route?
Mile 6. I am so much tougher than THAT guy. SEE YA!
Mile 6.5. Ahh. The turn-around. I'm half way there!
Mile 7.25. Haha. You're sitting there in your car waiting to go through the intersection but guess what. I'm running my ass off and you aren't. So I have the right of way. La-di-da!
Mile 8. This packet of "sport beans" is really starting to dig into me. Why can't running shorts have pockets? Here I am with in stuck in the strap of my sports bra. Maybe I should eat them and be done with it.
Mile 8.10. Gross. I think I sweated through the plastic packaging. At least it's not GU.
Mile 8.... Am I still in Mile 8? How many songs has this been?
Mile 8.... These sport beans are delicious! I'm actually wishing there were MORE calories! Either I'm delirious or the cramp in my leg is starting to disillusion me. I'm glad I picked the green ones.
Mile 8.... 9? anyone? Mile 9???
Mile 9. It's about damn time.
Mile 9. water? anyone?
Mile 9. Is that guy seriously running in military pants? and a jacket tied around his waist? what's his deal?
Mile 9.6. Ahh. water. I will reach it before army pant guy.
Mile 9.68. Ha. Beat ya.
Mile 10. Ow. ow. ow. The right side of my body is numb. ow.
Mile 10.25. I think I just saw a vampire. He's running in black pants, a black long sleeved shirt and a black hat. and he's real, real pale. and he has on these circular sun glasses. Yup. I think he's a vampire. I wonder if he's affiliated with the Cullens'?
Mile 10.7. Ow. Just keep running. The sooner you finish the sooner you can get your tee-shirt and ice your leg. Just finish.
Mile 10.8-11.5. Breaking through. Breaking through. This is the fartherst I've run since last January. Break through. Break through.
Mile 11.5-12.5. Ow. Where the... ow... hell is... the finish... ow... line? And who the fuck decided to end this race on an uphill? obviously a biker, or a really cruel person...
Mile 12.5. Still uphill. At least I've lost all feeling in my right leg so I can't feel the pain anymore.
Mile 12.8. People are cheering for me! It's Barry and Melissa! I love you guys! Barry starts to run with me. Challenges me to pass the two people up ahead.
Mile 13. One down, one to go. I'm at an all out sprint. How long has it been since I've thrown up? Because I'm about to break that record right here.
Mile 13.09. For the rest of the story, you'll have to buy the book...! Words cannot describe how great of a finish I had!!!

I shaved 13 minutes off my time from last year! I got my gatorade and water, got my (large) t-shirt and headed for the car where my trusty running buddy (who I don't really run with because she's really fast) had cut up oranges waiting for us. I can't straighten my leg out, but I'm a finisher. I feel totally spent, but I'm tougher than that guy I passed with .10 mile to go. My body aches like it has at no other point in time, but I did it.

Now I get to run 15 on saturday. Quite a hobby I've gotten myself into...